The doctor enters the delivery room in the hospital and sees the new mother leafing through the telephone book.
‘Ah yes, you are looking for a first name, yes?’, he asked. ‘No’, she answered, ‘I’m looking for a suitable last name’.

At breakfast Mum asks daughter ‘Hey Jane are you now engaged to John when he brought you back from that party last night?’ Said Jane ‘Oh, did the bed squeak so loudly then?’

Two catholic priests talk ‘Do you think that we will see celibacy cancelled by the Pope?’ ‘I don’t think so’, said the other, ‘But our children might’.

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When you stand before God, you cannot say I've done what others told me to do.
The colour of your soul is for you to paint.